confusion

Do you ever feel like you really love someone with all you heart, and you can't live without him anymore, but you think you deserve better? That's what I feel. I feel like I wanna give up but I can't cause at the end, it me who's going to have a hard time with depression. Its like he's part of my everyday life, my family. But he really is a weird type- very different from the old him.. I loved him because i felt that he was afraid to lose me, that i make someone happy, that he needs me in his life. but now, i can't even tell him how I feel anymore because all he has to say is " you know ayaw ko ganyan ka" or something. so selfish but still I am forcing myself not to be sad because of that reason. I still love him though. I don't know how to make him fall in love with me again though. I mean he tells me he loves me and he misses me, but he is unconsistent. I don't know what to do, because I really love love him, but i dont know if he love me too or if i can live my whole life just like this!! Always waiting for him to tell me he loves me he misses me, i cant express what I feel cause he doesnt like it if i go first. hows that its so weird. How can I express my love for him? shouldnt he like that!? if he really loves me. Its really confusing right now. I dont have a clue on what I have to do. because some part of me still believes in him. I know there are no flashbacks in life, but everyday everysecond i wish the old him comes back. I mean I know we do have changes to make, but it doesnt have to be total opposite.